I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
