It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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