Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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