I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
