No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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