you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
