Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
