i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
