At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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