Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
