He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
