Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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