Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
