i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
