hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
and you said cock pushups were impossible
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
