update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
