dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
