just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
