4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
