I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
My ATM looks so different sober.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Randomize
