Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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