hell yes lets make some ravioli
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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