The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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