i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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