Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
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