What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We were destined to go to rehab together
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
