Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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