We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
