I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
where are you?
Hypothermia
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
