Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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