Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize