ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
