how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
