What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
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