maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
