New low: just hacked my moms facebook
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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