But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
This house was built for laser tag.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
