I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
