Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Damn victory sex feels great
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize