i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
