Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize