Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(727): View more from Florida

Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.

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(913): View more from Kansas

Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.

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(214): View more from Texas

Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis

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(561): View more from Florida

Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...

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(208): View more from Idaho

if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.

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(596): View more from

Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.

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(618): View more from Illinois

learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.

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(805): View more from California

Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.

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