Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
