i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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