I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
