She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
