called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
