How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
