Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
