she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
