would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
