I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You need Xanax blowdarts
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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