No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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