so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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