is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
