I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
