Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
