i can't believe i had my finger in that
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize