No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize