Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize