Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
