Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
zippers are such a cool invention
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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