I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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