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• (214): View more from Texas

  Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'

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• (310): View more from California

  Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"

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• (206): View more from Washington

  No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.

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