just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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