so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
