: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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