He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize